Darcy's Journal

A note to you. . .

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:38:42 GMT

Thanks for including us in your family vacation. I love you guys and I loved getting to know your new family.
I'm so proud of you for bringing a very hard issue out into the light. I know you guys can deal with this.
Thank you for taking care of my dogs and my house. I never worry when you're around to check in on them.
I'm sorry he is being so hurtful to you. I hope you can find a good workaround soon. Your family is in my prayers.
I can't believe I sent a check through the washing machine. Thank you for being gracious with me about it.
It was so great to hang out this weekend. I miss having you in my day to day life very much.
I am so excited for you to have your second baby. Your current will be such a great sibling.
Thank you for protecting your child. He is so beautiful and unique and it saddens me that anyone would want to rob him of that.
I'm so glad you have your garden and that you're happy. I feel great things coming on your horizon.
I know you'll have such lovely memories with your new baby and so many more to come with all three of them.

Apparently 4 Year Olds Try to Keep Secrets

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 06:37:03 GMT

They fail to keep secrets, but they try.
Joseph had his fourth birthday today. He's 4. One, two, three, four. We had some of his friends over and I put out a bunch of stuff for them to decorate cupcakes. It was wild. Messy. Loud. Adorable.
Tonight before bed Joseph came out of his room with a fully decorated cupcake.
"Mom! Bridget says I have to eat this cupcake before I go to sleep."
"What?"
"Bridget hid this cupcake in my room so I could eat it before I go to sleep."
"Hid it?"
"Because you won't let me take the cupcake to bed."
"Joseph you can't eat a cupcake after you've brushed your teeth."
"But Bridget says I have to."

Nervous and Excited

Tue, 26 May 2009 06:56:57 GMT

Tomorrow I start my clinical observation for the Lactation Counselor Educator course I've been taking. The online format has been great for me. I am doing well with paying attention (as opposed to when I am forced to attend a class and find myself with my face on a table in a pile of my own drool) and am finding it interesting and educational. So, tomorrow I start my 8 whopping hours of observing a lactation-focused nurse in her practice.
I am very much hoping to take 3 births this summer to finish up my doula certification. I'll need "positive feedback" from the care providers so ideally I would be attending births where the doctor/midwife/nurses/etc. are comfortable having a doula there. There is some rumor about a semi-local hospital considering a ban on doulas. I don't know how accurate that is, but it's disturbing.
My babies. Oh! My babies are doing so well. Joseph turns 4 next week. He is so very much his own boy. He's very smart and _really_ enjoying school and his friends. I'm hoping for a friend-filled afternoon celebration with cupcakes and lots of merriment. Gotta get my act together on that front. Naomi is really gearing up for the "terrible twos" with style. She can scream bloody murder for a _long_ time when she does not get her way. She and I are doing Kindermusik together and she _loves_ it. Joseph and I never managed to do that stuff without him totally melting down and it being a miserable experience for both of us. I'm really treasuring getting to fulfill this little part of my mommy dream.
I went to a pre-wedding reception this weekend and got to see lots of friends of friends and their families which was really nice. We also spent a few hours with my parents. The kids ate hot dogs and played with the animals and we got a chance to catch up a bit.
My grandfather is ill. His name is Wally and prayers are, as always, appreciated.
I finally planted our seedlings. We have a variety of peppers, two kinds of tomatoes, and one empty container which I think will house a cucumber plant. I moved to containers this year because our one good vegetable garden spot picked up some disease which destroyed my plants right quick last year. I'm solarizing the soil through this season (letting it get very hot under a sheet of plastic) in the hopes that it will be good for planting again next year.

A productive day?

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:24:18 GMT

I have a day without my family today so I'm going to try to make the most of it. What does Darcy do for "fun" on her day off from mommahood? I know you're dying to find out. Here's my list of things I'd love to get done today. I'll come back later and let you know what _actually_ happened.

Mandatory:

~~work (I need to put in at least 3 hours today, but 5 would be preferable)~~ 3 down - maybe 2 more later?
~~watch video lectures for my lactation counselor course (actually totally easy to pay attention to, and I can work on my sewing project while I watch)~~ - I'm still probably behind on this but I watched a couple of hours worth
~~laundry laundry laundry~~ laundry- still need to put away the kids laundry and wash diapers

Important:

~~work out~~
go through the stacks of paper/mail/bills that have collected in the office and on my desk
pay the bills (non urgent as nothing is due right now, but good to get ahead of things)
do some reading for school

Fun:

organize Joseph's artwork from school
work on sewing my new rags (more on that another day)
play with my new mop (I know that it's sad that this is in my fun category)

Purses

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 16:23:58 GMT

About a year ago I decided I needed a new purse. I have many purse qualifications. They are as follows:
1. Must be big enough to hold one cloth diaper, one cloth diaper cover, small pack of wipes, and a Ziploc (to put the dirty diaper in)
2. Must be machine washable (see 1)
3. The main compartment must not have a zipper (too hard to open)
4. The main compartment must close in some way
5. Must have easy access for cell phone, wallet, and keys
6. Must have a small internal zipper pocket for medications and other tiny things

What I learned through this purse shopping experience is that I lack The Purse Gene. The Purse Gene is the chromosomal source of the madness that causes certain friends of mine to require a new purse every month despite the fact that her needs remain fairly stable.* Apparently this is more common than I thought. While I see a purse as a practical item which allows me to be equipped for the challenges I might face in a day, other women see it as a fashion accessory or even a status marker. As a result there are literally thousands of purses on the market which have basically the same features with a different look and feel. I was only able to find 1 that met my criteria.

I kind of love it. All of the closures are magnetic and see how easily I can store my frequently accessed items?
It cost me about $50 (including shipping). I fretted a while over whether that was an appropriate amount to spend. I spent months shopping around to make sure I had found the right purse and that I would not spend half a c-note (as Matt would say) on an item that I would want to trade in after a month for something pink and fuzzy. Perhaps after a short time I would tire of its plainness. Perhaps I would want something that more loudly announces its brand affiliation.

Oh - this reminds me to tell you that Joseph is learning to write his name! Perhaps he could write it on my purse and it would look more like this one. That would save me the $498 that the Coach bag would otherwise cost.
I think it just looks horrendous. If I wanted my purse to have its brand logo on it, I would surely pony up for something more like this:

This thing will run you about $1000. That's 20 of my purses. However, my purse lacks the yellow silk-screening of the fabulous Louis Vuitton logo featured on this bag. I think it's ugly and boxy and, ironically, cheap-looking, but what do I know? Very little, as it turns out.
Maureen attempted to explain the whole purse thing to me the other day. She explained that carrying a bag like the Coach or the LV bag above is desirable to some women because it has a certain status and is widely recognized as a nice brand of bag. Apparently, you do not need to buy a purse by Tod, which is more expensive, but not as easily identified. So, to be the right kind of purse carrier, you do _not_ need to spend over $2000 for this bag:

By the way, the name of this purse contains the word "Hobo" in it. If you have no home and you spend $2345 on a purse, I do not feel sorry for you, snakeskin bag lady.
If you are down on funds and must spend a ridiculous amount of money on a purse, might I recommend that you at least choose something with some practical value? For example:a

For just a little more than $4000 you could have this bag, from which you can extract ace bandages in a pinch. Not just any ace bandages - Versace ace bandages.
You may be overwhelmed by all of the wonderful purse choices out there. It's hard to narrow it all down and if you're practical, like me, you may want to have just one purse that meets all of your needs. Louis Vuitton had you in mind when they designed this beauty:

So, if, like me, you fret about spending too much on a purse only to find another that you'd like better, this may be a wise investment. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on individual purses which you may find you no longer like after a short time, you can make this one, wise investment.
The price? $52000

*Notably, many mothers have a weak Purse Gene and, possibly because it is overshadowed by the comparatively blinding Adorable Cloth Diaper Gene. I love a cute cloth diaper as much as the next mommy, but I let my daughter shit in her diapers so I have given up keeping a collection of gorgeous and pristine dipes.

Doula Training

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:58:42 GMT

This weekend I participated in a DONA training workshop. A doula, for those of you out of touch with new words for old things, is a woman who provides emotional and physicall support for a birthing through the process of labor, delivery, and care of a new baby. For me, this is a step on my road to becoming a midwife. I am very excited.

Matt took care of the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all day while I was in the workshop. On Friday he even did all the evening care on his own so I could go out to a movie with Jen and Amy. Let's hear it for the boy.

More disgruntled consumerism

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 23:00:47 GMT

We have a water softener. Ventura has exceptionally hard water, so the water softener makes a tremendous difference in terms of deposit free sinks and tubs, clear glasses, shiny hair, and clean laundry. Last week I noticed that our glasses were coming out of the dishwasher cloudy and crusty. Matt ran a test and found that our water was, indeed, hard. The softener was not working.
We called Matilija Pure Water systems who is supposed to be a repair service for GE water softeners. On Thursday they sent Shaun out to look at our system. Shaun diagnosed the system with a "broken seal pack". He explained that:
1. The system is cheap - one they wouldn't even sell - and very unreliable
2. They sell better systems!
3. We could lease a system from them at a very low cost
4. It would cost $375 to fix our system
5. Fixing our system would require removing it from our home
6. Getting the parts would take up to 3 weeks
He said that it wasn't worth fixing the system. I thanked him and paid him $75 for the service call and decided to get a second opinion.; I felt certain that he had no intention or desire to fix our system and had really just charged me $75 for a sales pitch.
I then called A-1 Water Softner Service. They sent someone out on Friday morning. Their guy (whose name I did not catch) tested the water, did some resetting and cleaning, and gave Matt instructions to perform some additional maintenance tasks over the weekend. They came back today and verified that the water softener is now working. They charged us $30 for labor and $59.95 for the service call. For $90 and a little elbow grease we have soft water again.
I decided I would give Matilija Pure Water an opportunity to refund our $75 before making a report to the better business bureau. I called them and had a very civil conversation with the manager. He said he'd to see a copy of the invoice from the other company before he could decide what to do, so I agreed to send that to him.
When I hung up the phone Matt said, "Wow, I'm impressed."
"With what?"
"You were very calm."
"And that is surprising?"
"Uh. . . welll. . . "

Clingy

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:47:56 GMT

In general, I feel it is safe to say that my children would trade me for a popsicle. They love other adults and are both pretty outgoing kids. At home, though, when we get bored, all I hear is this:
"III WWWWAAAANNNTTTTT AAAAA HHHUUUGGG!"
"MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA"
They climb on my lap (between me and my laptop), unplug the computer, and scream if I am talking on the phone. Joseph has no preschool this week so I'll have to work extra hard to keep the boredom at a minimum.

A taste of my future life?

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:58:45 GMT

Last weekend my good friend S had her baby girl. I was privileged to be there for her labor. I leave the telling of the birth story for her, as it is not mine, but I wanted to jot down my thoughts on the experience that I had.

I think the thing I will remember most about this birth is the incredible love between S and D. He was a fantastic labor partner. I think that we (women, birth professionals and those aspiring to do birth work) very sadly underestimate the power of the partner. D and S are a very close couple and he was well prepared for the labor. Her doula and midwife were my birth instructor and midwife, respectively, so I had lots of opportunities to ask questions and learn from them.
Davie talked to me a little bit about what she does. She says that she tries to bring an ambiance - especially to a hospital birth - that promotes a healthy labor. She wore aromatherapy oils and brought healthy snacks for all (fruit, cheese and crackers, etc.). Dad had brought a lot of music for labor and it had the effect of really toning down the noises of traffic in the hall and even the monitors in the room.
Sue told me that this was an atypically long labor. I guess I expected that, so I wasn't truly surprised to find myself sleeping on a waiting room floor at 4 AM, though I had hoped the baby would be born much earlier.
S's two nurses were awesome and supportive and everything I would want in a nurse. As far as the hospital experience went, I was most surprised and disappointed with the lack of emphasis put on keeping the family together after the birth. That was very difficult for me and underlined the importance in _really_ understanding hospital policies going into a labor assistance.

Any of you who know D & S and haven't seen their blog should e-mail D and take a look!

follow up on my Dish Dramarama

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:26:42 GMT

They gave me back my money, so I don't have to kick fake Arlene's tush. I canceled my credit card to keep them from doing this again and now I have to redo all of my bills that are paid by credit card. Fuckers.

DISH Network stole money from me and I do not like them

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:24:52 GMT

It is January, 2008. I have a gorgeous new baby, a thriving toddler, the best husband in the world and we are mere days away from the season premiere of LOST. I mean, really, does life get much better than that?

Sometime late in the month our satellite television stopped working. Matt spent a long time on the phone with DISH them diagnosing the problem, futzing with the satellite dish on our roof, and resetting the receiver more times than I could count. Eventually, they conceded that some piece of equipment (I don't remember if it was a dish or the receiver) was broken and that they would have to come replace it.

The servicemen came a few days later but they did not have the equipment. We asked them to stay while we contacted DISH. The phone representative at DISH confirmed that there had been an error, but they could get the service folks back to us in a week. Two days after the LOST premiere.

No. Unacceptable.

DirecTV had a great introductory deal and could have our service up and running in 3 days. I was sold. Sign me up. We called DISH and canceled our service citing their inability to keep it up and running for us.

DISH wanted to keep our business and offered us things like a few months of free service, upgrades, and such. Still, they were not going to be able to get us up and running before DirecTV so I said, "No. Please delete all of our information: phone numbers, credit card numbers, address, everything. We are no longer your customers."

Fast forward to February of 2009. I was reviewing our credit card statement. I had idly noticed some charges from "DISH Network" over the last few months but I had registered them as the charges for our satellite service. Suddenly it hit me that DISH is no longer our provider. I checked and they had started charging us $32.99 a month in October. They had racked up about $150 in charges before I even noticed. Matt called and talked to someone who told him they could refund half of the charges. I screamed, "Hell no. You lose. Now you have to deal with _me_," took the phone from Matt, and let my bitch out. I told them that I regarded the charges as theft and that they needed to refund the full amount immediately. We went over the story a few times until the guy was fully convinced that there was no reason and no good explanation for the charges. He gave me his name and employee number and said we could expect to see the refund in 5 to 7 days.

That was 2 1/2 weeks ago and we've gotten nothing.

I called them again today. I explained this situation to the unfortunate woman who answered the phone. She insisted on talking to Matt to be sure that I was authorized to represent the account. What account? There should not even be an account! I gave Matt the phone and overheard the woman on the other end telling him that they would not be able to refund the charges.

"FUCK NO," I yelled and took the phone from Matt (again), and asked to speak with the representative's supervisor. I was asked to give the entire history again. I did, as calmly as possible. He said that because the account was closed, they could no longer issue refunds for my payments. At some point I demanded he stop calling them "payments" saying, "The word 'payment' implies that I willingly gave you money, presumably in exchange for goods or services. What you did was stealing. So, when you talk about the incidents where money went from me to you, I'd like you to say, for example, 'When we stole money from you in October.'" He kept telling me that we had authorized DISH to charge our credit card. I kept telling him that was in 2003 and our account was closed in January of 2008. There was a lot of yelling. I asked for his supervisor.

This third person was a woman who gave me her fake name and a direct phone number which I can use should I want to follow up with her. So, fake Arlene asked me to detail the story _again_ which I did as calmly as possible. She reiterated that they could not refund our payments and I lost my shit. "They're not payments. Stop calling them payments!" I reiterated that there was no justification for them even _having_ my credit card number, let alone charging it. Eventually she conceded and told me to expect a refund in 5 to 7 business days. "How do I know you're not lying like the last guy?"

"You'll just have to trust me. Whether or not you trust me is your choice."

Nothing personal, Arlene, but I do not trust you. I'll check in with you tomorrow.

Great weekend - hard start to the week

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:53:18 GMT

I had a great weekend. Saturday I had coffee with Mo, dinner with the MacKays and then went out to a movie with Juliette. On the side, do not allow your 10 year old to see Watchmen. It was gorgeous but super violent and had a few minutes that were very sexually explicit.
Anyway, after the movie I went home to sleep all by myself. Matt took Joseph and Naomi down to my parents' house where they all stayed the night. I slept until 9:30 in the morning. I haven't slept that long in years. It was awesome. I got up, had breakfast and had time to do pilates _and_ yoga with no interruptions, wash up, pick up the house, do laundry, and fold clothes while watching whatever trashy TV I wanted to watch. It was all very refreshing.
Yesterday Matt took Joseph to a rocket launch with my dad while my mom hung out with Naomi. They were home by about 3. We got ready for company and David and Sherilyn brought over a _fabulous_ dinner for us and some of our local friends. It was a great, relaxed evening - probably our last all together before Sherilyn has her baby.
So, yeah, my weekend was very restful and lovely.
Then it all kind of went to hell.
I couldn't get to sleep last night. I've been taking sleep aids about 5 nights a week which is helping me immensely. I did not take it last night and it took me until at least 1:45 (that was the last time I looked at the clock) to fall to sleep. At 2:09 Sadie had a seizure. It was _very_ short but severe. She pooped a runny poop and Matt and I had to get up and clean the floor without waking up Naomi. I checked Sadie and we cleaned up the mess. By the time we were done it was nearly 3. I think I fell back to sleep pretty quickly. At 6:30 or so Joseph came in and did the annoying rolling around on our bed thing. He woke up Naomi and here we all are. I am watching Colbert Report and indulging myself with a few minutes on the couch before I suck it up and go make a day of this thing.
I have a lot I want to write about - the article in the Atlantic, my return to school (starting my coursework for lactation counseling and doula work), my gorgeous kids, gardening projects. . . I'm super busy, but doing pretty well.

Thank you Sesame Street.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 22:56:04 GMT

Joseph: Unanymous means when everyone takes a boat.

Apology

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:39:25 GMT

My son was a little shit at school today - taking toys from friends, taunting kids, and throwing things. I thought it would be a good exercise for him to apologize to his teacher immediately instead of waiting until Friday so we did this. Unfortunately, I think it ended up being more fun than serious.

Sunday afternoon storytime

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 01:19:06 GMT

Matt [reading a story]: ...three Puddle-ducks came along the hard high road, marching...
Naomi: duck oooh wowow

Matt: ...one behind the other and doing the goose step--pit pat, paddle pat!...
Naomi: pa pa aaah
Joseph: DAD, LOOK AT MY ASTRONAUT!!!

What's for dinner?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 04:34:04 GMT

Making dinner is, by far, the hardest part of housewifery for me. I grew up on a diet of chicken a la king and Stouffer's frozen meals (and, no, we did not have a microwave, so we were pretty much waiting an hour to eat a TV dinner). Matt grew up eating as a family most nights and his mom taught him that a hot meal on the table was dinner - not a bowl of cereal on the counter as I would prefer many evenings.
As part of my plan to combat this problem I have come up with our "easy week" meal plan. I have a grocery list of items I can buy at Trader Joe's. They are all semi-prepared things. I have a shopping list printed up that I carry in my purse which includes everything I need for these meals. The list is in the order that I walk by the things in the store, so it takes about 20 minutes to buy the groceries. Here it is in all of its adorableness.

From Darcy's Blog

Despite all of this I am terrible about buying groceries and on the end of most days I am too burned out to make dinner and ask Matt to do it.

ETA:
Matt is writing on a notepad and is getting ready to go to the store.
Darcy: Do you want a fresh copy of the grocery list?
Matt: Ummmm
Darcy: What?
Matt: I don't like your new grocery list. . . I want a thing where I choose what dinners we're going to have and then it makes a shopping list for me.
Darcy: It's a piece of paper not a piece of software.
Matt: Yeah.

sry!

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:59:40 GMT

I'm sorry, but not sorry enough to type out 5 letters. sry.

Family Values

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 01:24:18 GMT

Being the Best Mother I Can Be

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:27:15 GMT

I believe in gentle, attached parenting. I believe that children will thrive in an environment where they are secure in the love of their family and where they can explore and grow without fear of random retribution for their “childish” behavior. There are a slew of terms that refer to parenting styles related to these assertions: Attachment Parenting, Consensual Living, Natural Parenting, Non-violent Parenting, and Unconditional Parenting. There are books and groups and online message boards and T-Shirts – countless ways and places to declare your intentions to be the “crunchiest” mom on the blog and to get support on that journey. Roam the message boards and you will find a whole slew of threads that start with something like this:

“My husband brought home a bright red plastic toy for Windyrainbow! How could he do that?”

And devolve into:

“Sometimes you have to take control and stand your ground. Don’t let your plastic-tolerant husband keep you from being the best mother you can be!”

That is the goal, right? To be the most attached, most natural, most consent-seeking, most peaceful parent? It’s all about me being the best mother I can be! Right?

No, it’s not. The goal is to allow my children (remember them? the children? those people I pushed out of my vagina?) to grow into independent, healthy, happy, successful people and, hopefully, great citizens of the world. To that end, I do make decisions as a mother that don’t fall into the canon of the Holy Mothers of Granola. For example, when Joseph turned 3 I decided I was ready to potty train him. I looked at lots of books and websites and _everything_ I read told me that he was Not Ready. He was still waking up wet from every nap. He didn’t care At All if his diaper was poopy. He never took off his diaper on his own or showed signs that he was going to the bathroom. He had not asked to use the lovely potty I bought him. Despite all of that, I removed his diaper on a Monday morning and allowed no clothing to touch his butt, day or night, until he was using the potty expertly. We spent an entire week at home, making sure that he had made the full transition before risking damage to his car seat or stroller. I fed him M&M’s and put up a sticker chart. Why? Because I believed he could do it and that I could help him. I was ready and he was capable. My instincts told me this was the way to do it and I was right. There were very few tears and a lot of excitement and pride. He accomplished the huge task of developing an awareness of his potty needs and taking care of those needs on his own. It may not have been his choice to start the journey, but I took my opportunity, as his one and only mother, to guide him down that road to success.

I refuse to deny my children the joys and sorrows of growing up so that I can be a certain kind of mother. This is their life. Their journey. My family, yes, but their precious childhood.

Soccer Camp

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:40:29 GMT

For the year and a half before I married Matt, Jen and Amy and I rented a sweet house on the Mesa in Santa Barbara. We had a fireplace, laundry room, a guest room, two living rooms, and a sliver of an ocean view.
When we moved in we got a lot of mail that wasn’t for us. Every renter has experienced this phenomenon. We got more than we expected though, and it didn’t take us long to notice that we were not getting personal mail. We were getting business mail. Specifically, we were getting what appeared to be registration packets for a soccer camp. Google told us that the former resident of our house ran a residential soccer camp during the summer. Our address was printed in the camp’s newsletters and registrations came at an alarming rate. If there was a forwarding order on the mail it was not working. We returned the mail. I can’t remember exactly how many registrations came to us, but it seemed like a lot. Eventually the influx of registration packet slowed and then it stopped. Aside from the occasional vendor gift or Christmas card, we didn’t see much mail for the soccer people.
Every two weeks, or so, we cleaned the house together. We would put our favorite obnoxious music (sometimes mix CD’s created especially for the occasion) and systematically tear through the house. One Sunday morning we were about halfway through our cleaning ritual when someone came to the door. There was a minivan parked in front of our house and the woman at the door was accompanied by a child.
“We’re here for soccer camp.”
Apparently, they had never gotten any information after sending in their registration so they had just showed up at the only address they knew of. We tried looking online so that we might direct them to the right location but, really, we just didn’t have any helpful information for them. They had driven for four hours. I still don’t know if they figured out where they were supposed to go.
We briefly joked about how we might profit from the situation. “Sure, this is soccer camp. Where’s your $500? See you on Friday!” Then let the kid eat cookies and kick a ball around the backyard for a week. How hard could it be?

God stuff

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:35:13 GMT

I don't post about my faith often. Maybe you could add the word "enough" to that sentence and maybe you could add a phrase beginning with the word "because..." to that sentence. It's really hard to say. But, folks, the facts are these. I believe in a God who created the universe, who continues to create, who loves you and I and cares about what we do, and from whom we are estranged - an estrangement which is reflected in the world by our own disconnection from one another. I believe in a God who would literally do anything to be close to you. I believe this is the primary message of Jesus of Nazareth, who I call the Christ.
introducingyael lost her precious baby a few nights ago. I do not know what happened and I do not know her well, but she is a friend of someone I do know (both online and IRL, I guess you could say) and in reading her journal she asked that if the non-Jewish reader wanted to do something they should look into the so-called Noahidic laws, meaning the laws of God given to Noah not only for Jews, but for all mankind. They are:
1. You shall not have any idols before God.
2. You shall not murder. (Genesis 9:6)
3. You shall not steal.
4. You shall not commit adultery.
5. You shall not blaspheme God's name.
6. Do not eat flesh taken from an animal while it is still alive. (Genesis 9:4)
7. You shall set up an effective judiciary to enforce the preceding six laws fairly.
I think that the first is especially appropriate this time of year. Perhaps you can consider one or two of these law in your day today and pray for a mother who lost her child far too early and who looks forward to the reconciliation of us all to God, which is pretty fucking unselfish given the kind of week she's having.

Update: Naomi, Joseph and a mildly traumatized mama

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 23:31:48 GMT

Naomi is doing great today. Her doctor (actually, she saw Joseph's doctor since her doctor was not in yesterday) could not diagnose an ear or throat infection and suggested we wait a few days before taking further action. By last night she had no fever without any Ibuprofen in her system and by this morning she was pretty much her old self. She seems a tiny bit fussy, but we spent the morning out in the yard and she played very loudly and happily.
Joseph is fine, too. He was a little more excited about the incident yesterday than I would have liked ("[his friend] had to wait in the office for his mommy!" "[his teacher] said, 'What did you doooo to Jooooeee?'" "[his friend] bit me in the face!") There is a small bruise on his cheek and a scratch on his neck but neither seem to be bothering him at all. He hasn't mentioned the incident today and I'm hoping that we're done discussing it. I am putting a renewed emphasis on him needing to respond when someone makes a request of him because I think his friend got angry because he was not listening when he was asked to share. He tends to just ignore requests when he doesn't want to respond promptly or affirmatively. I would like him to learn to say, for example, "I am using the stepstool now, but you can have a turn in a minute," instead of just ignoring his friend's pleas to get down and let him have a turn. It's an infuriating behavior and I'm hoping we can help him stop it.

I was in a horrible mood yesterday. I was overtired, stressed about work, stressed about the ever-growing pile of undone stuff here, and incredibly on edge. By breakfast time I had snapped at my various family members more times than I normally do in a few weeks. Naomi being ill and Joseph having a fight at school were both crappy things, to be sure, but the edginess and sensitivity I felt to them was so sharp that I was left feeling really raw and broken. Just before sunset I walked out my front door to go to the store to return a printer and I had a very shaking moment of clarity. When I looked out at my yard I very much expected to see my neighbors gathered around a police car waiting to see what was going to be done about the dog who had forced it's way into my house and killed my cat. (http://psyko-kitty.livejournal.com/51872.html) I didn't actually see the scene but it was like. . . you know when you have a glass of milk and you take a sip and then really it was orange juice and it's a little shocking. . . like that. Then I heard the sound. Across the street we have a neighbor who, God bless her, has some serious problems going on in her life including a lot of chaos and chaotic people mooching off of her house. Sometimes people drop off dogs and leave them in her yard. One had been barking _frantically_ _all_ _day_. It was the kind of barking that makes me think a leash has been caught around an animal's neck or that the animal is seriously injured. Until that moment I didn't even consciously realize I had been hearing it, but I had and I had been waiting for a dog to come bursting into my house and attack one of my children all day. It was just behind the curtain until that moment when it became crystal clear. I went to the neighbors next door to the Mistress of Chaos and Meth and asked if I could peek into the yard to check the dog. The dog was one I had never seen before and was definitely wanting out of the yard, but seemed uninjured and was not tied up in any way. I felt a little better after that and my mood calmed quite a bit once I had the insight into why I was so rattled. It has been a year and a few days since that morning. The air is a bit crisp, the Christmas decorations are up, and I am, apparently, afraid that my home and my children are not safe.

Also, my work computer is dead. Annoying. Our IT department sort of rocks, though, and I should have it back by tonight.
My Christmas party is this weekend and I'm gearing up for that. Gingerbread houses, hot apple cider, friends and fun.

I'm the Mommy - watch out!

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:25:54 GMT

Naomi is sick. Last night she had a fever between 103 and 105 and this morning it was hanging out around 101. I did all of the stuff - Motrin and a bath - to take down her fever. She seems ok when her fever is down. She's very upset when it is high. She was wobbly yesterday so she might have an ear infection. Matt is at the doctor with her right now. They'll probably give her antibiotics which will be the first time either me or one of the kids has had abx since I got pregnant with Joseph. I'm glad she's over a year old (because abx before one year may be linked to higher rates of asthma). I know she's fine and this is normal, but there is nothing quite like seeing your baby sick.
Just after Matt left to take Naomi to the doctor I got a call from Joseph's preschool that another child had bitten Joseph on the face during an altercation over a stepstool. The skin is not broken, but they are taking the incident very seriously. I'm almost positive I know who it is and I trust this child's parents to deal with the situation and I expect I'll hear from them and that we'll discuss how to move forward together. They are wonderful people and wonderful parents and I'm sure that this is an isolated incident which they will handle well. The preschool director says Joseph is handling it fine. She said she would call me again if he seemed upset or if he asked for me. I'm leaving him in school for the day.
I feel like on the surface I'm handling all of this well, but the mama bear inside is furious. My Naomi is sick and my Joseph was bitten! Rarrrr. Stay away!!!

Soap!

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:18:39 GMT

After years of considering it, I am selling some of my soap this year. I _just_ opened my little etsy shop which you can see at:
http://darcywronk.etsy.com
I'm pretty excited about the batches of soap I've made this year. Take a look! Also, let me know if you see any problems with the shop.

Maureen Has Opinions

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:51:46 GMT

Maureen is a mama friend of mine and she wrote a great Thanksgiving blog entry that I wanted to share with you, my devoted reader, or person who accidentally ended up here while you were searching for a blog about feral felines.
http://nearlyserious.blogspot.com/2008/11/thank-you.html
Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving.